Postpartum Doula Care is Developmental Care

Note on language: I use the words mother and mom to refer to the primary caregiver in a family constellation. 

As doulas make their way into more mainstream culture I find that many expecting parents feel that they ‘should’ consider postpartum doula care, but aren’t totally clear on why that support is so incredibly beneficial. And, how it differs from just… hiring a babysitter. It really is entirely different, especially when it comes to a style of care that, like mine, is informed by ancient wisdom and focused much more on the deep recovery, integration, and nourishment of the mother-baby dyad. 

The necessity of rest and adequate nutrition during the fourth trimester is clear to most - birthgivers go through an immense physical event to deliver their babies, and then embark on a journey of nursing, healing, and hormone + nervous system re-regulation. These experiences require recovery time and thoughtful nutrition, both of which are emphasized in holistic postpartum care. But there’s another reason rest, nourishment, and practices that emphasize ‘mothering the mother’ are so important. 

My approach to this work is rooted in my belief that the mother is, in many ways, the nervous system of the family. If you have a mother, have been around mothers, or are a mother, you know this to be true. When mom is feeling off, the whole family system is a bit more frazzled, unsettled, and chaotic. When mom is feeling grounded and supported, things run more smoothly. 

Put in the most simplistic (and yes, reductionist) way, in the early days and weeks postpartum, the mother’s nervous system is the basis of their baby’s nervous system, which is the basis of the rest of their development. As such, deeply supporting mothers in nervous system regulation at the beginning of their matrescence journey has impacts beyond helping them “feel good” in the fourth trimester (although this is important too).

It’s not just about how nice and beautiful an herbal bath is, or even the physiologic benefits of womb Abhyangha on circulation and uterine involution. It’s also about the long-term impacts these practices may have on the mother’s ability to regulate her nervous system and co-regulate her baby’s.

Nourishing the mom is, as Camille Freeman puts it, ‘feeding two birds with one feeder.’

Learn more about how I work to support mom, and as a result, baby and the whole family constellation here.